thoughts on a sunday.
i had a coffee with a new friend the other night and he asked why i don't market myself. i had a weird answer at the time, but thinking more about it i feel like what i'm writing now (even though they're published online) are personal thoughts (that could possibly inspire someone who's thinking the same) but ultimately they are for me. if i attempted to market myself and put for instance my blog "out there" i would immediately no longer be writing thoughts for myself because i would know that i have an audience so i'd filter myself.
i always love the first work of artists/writers/etc. the best because they were hungry. they'd been having thoughts for years so it's natural and fire. once they get an audience they have to think about what other people would like instead of what they like and feel.
i obviously don't think this happens to everyone, but i notice it a lot more than i don't.
and to further prove my point. when we first starting working on the magazine we wanted to do zero marketing and even if no one liked us or came to our first event it wouldn't have mattered because we put out a product we believed in and were happy with. as we continued publishing i definitely noticed myself at least thinking "we cannot print that" or "oh we need more of this less of that" etc.. see where im going with this? i feel like thats a huge reason i was able to let go so easily because even though i get so much life from magazines it no longer felt like me. mine. it was now for someone else.
i have so much work i never release because i feel no desire to. i don't need "likes" or comments to do more of it or feel confirmation/assurance my shit is good (or isn't). it makes my soul happy. my hands and eyes just need it. they must move. must create. must see.
while watching vicky cristina barcelona.